Some Random Story
by Black Mage Leah
Summary: Rose, a smart know-it-all, and her annoying know-it-all friend, Leah, get sucked into Tortall during their third period class. How will they ever survive? Will everyone try to kill them because they are so smart and their egos go on for miles, I mean ligh
1. Classroom Wormholes

Some Random Story

By Lady Leah of Chaos

With Some Help From Belle Mortis

BM: If you don't like random stories about me and my messed up friends, go and burn in hell. Have fun reading! –Rose

LLOC: I am NOT messed up! I'm just a freak, and believe me, I am goddamn proud of it! –Leah

Chapter 1:

Class Worm Holes

"As you know, people used to think the world was flat," Mr. Hunter told the class, "But we all know that they were wrong. The world was discovered to be round." Rose looked at Leah, shaking her head. As usual Leah had her objections. She waved her hand impatiently. Mr. Hunter had to answer or Leah would get angry. Her blond hair framed her tiny pale face as she looked at her teacher with interest.

"Rose and I have a theory that the world, despite the contrary belief that you ignorant mortals seemed to have made along with your belief that Bush is the best president since his stupid father, is flat. You see, many exploration stories claim that nearly all ships encounter a storm near the center of the Pacific Ocean. We believe that this storm is caused by a wormhole effect that lines the edges of the earth, transporting a traveler to corresponding hole on another side of the surface. These portals of time and space also seem to cause an illusion that, when viewed from outer edges, appears to form a spherical shape."

"Very interesting, Leah," Mr. Hunter said with a disbelieving look upon his face. "Unfortunately, the roundness theory has been proven many times…" His voice trailed off as the lights in the classroom suddenly dimmed, and a faint whirling noise was heard in the air.

"What's going on here?" Rose said in an inaudible whisper. As she spoke, a swirling mass of energy materialized in the exact center of the blackboard. A howling wind began to rush through the room as Leah and Rose began to drift towards it.

Leah smiled knowingly at Mr. Hunter. "So much for wormholes not existing, huh?" Before he could answer, the wormhole sucked Leah and Rose in.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Shit!" Rose fell onto the ground and landed on her bum. But it wasn't just ordinary ground. It was a cactus field! "Ouch!"

"Who's that over there?" Leah asked Rose. She wandered over to another spot in the field where there were more people attempting to climb out of the cactus

"Hope? Cat? Maren? Becky? What the heck are you doing here?" Leah as, surprised.

"There was a black hole in the gym!" Becky said.

"It wasn't a black hole, it was a wormhole," said Hope.

"Awesome! There was a wormhole in third period too!" Rose put in.

"Umm… why where you at the gym? Weren't you supposed to be at school?" Leah said, "It's not fair. How come I had to put up with Mrs. Jones?"

"Ha ha!" Rose laughed, "I don't have her till fourth!"

"Shut up."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Uh, sorry to interrupt your oh so important argument, but does anyone know where we are?" Cat interrupted.

"Maybe we're in Emelan. We could meet Briar!" Leah began to swoon.

"Naw, I think we're in Tortall. Wherever that is," Rose added.

"To Corus, then! We shall stalk Neal and Owen!"

"No, I don't think so," Maren said as they walked off into the sunset (even though it's 11 in the morning).

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Leah and company walked up to Corus, where trumpets began to blare.

"Corus!"

"Corus!"

"Corus!"

"It's only a model."

"Shh…"

The authoress then smacked herself on the head and muttered, "Quit the Monty Python references…"

"That was strange," said Cat.

"Most definitely," Rose agreed.

"Can we get going?" Leah asked. "I wanna get to the palace."

"I suppose so," Rose said, knowing what Leah's reaction would be if she refused. That being said, they headed up the hill.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Leah led the way, they met up with some people in a practice court. Leah screamed. "Omigod, Rose, it's Owen!"

"Who?"

"Shut up," Leah said as she ran into the court.

Owen looked up. "You."

"Yup, it's me!" The others stared blankly. "Don't ask."

"What are you doing here?" Owen asked. "I thought you took you and your rabid fangirls back to the real world!"

"Well, Rosie and me are back!"

"Great. Just great. How'd you get back, anyway? I thought they locked you out of the portal."

"Well, it's all a matter of time and space," Leah said, then noticed Owen was staring blankly at her, "And I'm afraid that's all you mind will be able to hold."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So, you want to be pages," Padraig HaMinch said dryly, "That's an interesting request."

"Well, ya, we do," Rose said.

"All of the six of us," Becky added.

Padraig shook his head. "Wonderful. Simply wonderful."

All stood in silence for a minute. Maren was the first to speak. "Sooo… When do we start?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The six girls stood outside one room, waiting. "When do we get picked?" Rose whispered to Leah.

"No idea. Eventually, I suppose," Leah responded confidently. As she spoke, a bell rang. "Apparently now."

They headed down to the larger area in the hallway, were they joined a bunch of boys standing by the wall. The training master walked up to each boy by turn, asking his name, his holdings, and chose a sponsor. Finally, he got to them. "Names and holdings?"

"Err… Becky of Lobosco?"

"Catherine of Ardoin."

"Maren of Rey."

"Hope of Wahlbrink."

"Rose of Schwienhart."

"Leah of Sweetspring," was Leah's answer. She shrugged when Rose glanced at her. "Mine had to be more interesting."

"Whatever," Rose said dryly.

"Alright, now who will sponsor them?" HaMinch asked the older boys. A few boys raised their hands. "Yanholm, you sponsor those three," he said, pointing to Hope, Becky, and Maren. "Tirrismont, those three." He pointed at Cat, Rose, and Leah. "And, Sweetspring," he added, looking at Leah, "No trouble."

"Who, me?" Leah asked, all too innocent.

"Don't play innocent. We gave Jesslaw a new room that you don't know of."

Leah swore obscenely. "Language, Sweetspring. One bell of polishing armor on Sunday night. You may all go."

Leah grinned mysteriously. "Of course, sir."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Owen sat on his bed, reading the letter that had been delivered to him. Lord Wyldon had been home for 2 days, and would not return till Monday. His letter said that he was to clean armor on Sunday night to keep his strength after lazing for a few days. That made sense.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Leah, get up!" Rose yelled in Leah's ear.

"It's to early," Leah moaned, "Don't you listen? We don't start till tomorrow!"

"Really?" Rose asked incredulously. "Well, get up anyway. Mark is taking us on a tour and he's waiting,"

"You learned his name?!" Leah gasped, surprised.

Rose blushed. "You will too. He's sexy!" Leah rolled her eyes.

"How could he be sexy?" Maren asked, "He's probably a dumbass jock who has no brain cells!"

Rose glared at her. "Just get up and get dressed."

"Thank the Goddess I remembered my jeans," Leah heaved a sigh of relief, "Imagine being forced into a dress!" Rose shuddered.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Uh, you look… interesting," Mark said with a very fake smile.

"Thanks," Leah said, "I try." She was wearing blue jeans, a dragon t-shirt, and vampire fangs. She has in red contacts, and a razor sharp spiked choker. Rose was wearing a blue and black t-shirt and cargo pants. She had fake blood around her mouth, hawk yellow contacts, and a knife in her hair. The others looked relatively normal. Well, normal for four modern American girls trying to pass for medieval pages. Which wasn't very normal.

"Damn, this blood is itchy. I'm taking it off," Rose complained, and ran to the bathroom to take it off. Three minutes later, she returned with a bloodless face. "Leah, take back your dumb fake knife, it's bugging me!" She threw it in Leah's face and it bounced off of the said face.

Leah smiled when Mark stared. "Yes, I am immune to knives."

Rose stared. "I thought that was fake!"

"Well, it's not," Leah replied. "See?" she said as she sliced a spike off the choker she wore.

"Holy shit!" Mark said, wide eyed.

"My lord would give you punishment work for that," Leah said superiorly.

"Stop CENSORED telling me the CENSORED obvious!"

"Shut the CENSORED up," Rose yelled

"NO!" Leah and Mark yelled at the same time. Leah smiled, showing sharp teeth. "Mutual yelling? How interesting."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The day came and went as fast as you could say "An angry cheesmuffin ran over a blue cow and ate a pink happy block." Which isn't very fast. It went on, Leah and Rose threatening people, Mark talking to his friends, Leah and Rose scaring his friends away, so on and so forth. Finally, night came, and the six girls headed back to the room they shared. They changed for the night, and got in their beds.

"Does anyone want to play truth or dare?" Maren asked once they were settled.

"Just with us?" Cat asked incredulously.

"That's no fun."

"Well, then lets go nab some boys, shall we?" Leah said as she and Rose snuck out the door.


	2. Night Party!

Chapter Two: Night Party!

"Come on, Rose!" Leah whispered, "I hear someone coming!"

"So?" Rose said, "We can get them!" As she said this, a group of boys walked around the corner. "See?"

"What are you doing here?" one of the boys asked.

"Aren't they the freaks that Mark had?"

"Yup, that would be us!" Rose said back.

"Would you mind coming with us?" Leah said sweetly, "We need you for something." The boys all shifted nervously.

"We really should go to bed…" a smaller boy said.

"I have classwork," another commented.

"Oh, I see," Rose said loftily, "You're just not man enough to go with a girl!"

"No way!" the leader of the group said, "We'll go!"

"Great," Leah said. "Follow us."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Oh, good, you're back," Hope said with a grin.

"Oh, no," a boy muttered, "More of them!"

Leah smiled. "Okay, now we're all just going sit in a circle and introduce ourselves," she said as she sat and motioned for them to do the same. "I'll start. I am known as God, The Author, The Ruler, etcetera. However, please, refer to me as Leah." The boys all groaned.

"Well said, Leah," Rose said with a malicious smile, "Now it's my turn. I am the Empress of this world, and must be treated with reverence. For our purposes, you ignorant mortals may call me Rose," she finished, passing an invisible "microphone" on.

"Okay, well, I'm Becky, that's Hope, and that's Cat. May we toddle on?" Becky said with a smile.

"Yes, yes, proceed."

"Okay, everyone knows me. I'm Mark!"

"Okay, Leah, I changed my mind," Rose whispered, "He definitely is a brainless jock!"

"Erm… I'm Erik of Tirrismont."

"I'm Andrew of Cavall!" piped the smallest of the boys. Apparently the fact that he was being held hostage by girls in creepy Hot Topic pajamas wasn't bothering him.

"Okay, I'm Fredrick of Nond," the last boy said, "But, please, don't humiliate me. Call me Fred."

"Alrighty then," Leah said, and clapped her hands together. She got up, and went to the mini fridge she had shoved into the closet. Rummaging through it, she pulled out a bowl. "Punch, anyone?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Twenty minutes later, Rose scooted towards Leah. "You spiked it, didn't you?"

"'Course I did," Leah said with a grin. "Special fangirl formula. Can't have the guys remembering they were here, can we?"

"That would explain why all the guys have punch and all of us have Cokes."

Leah waved around her can. "Mine's a Sprite, actually."

"And mine's orange juice. WITHOUT ICE!" Maren giggled.

"Really, though, mine tastes like root beer," Cat commented.

Leah gave them all an annoyed look, then stood up and clapped her hands. Everyone fell silent. "That's better. Can we start the game now?" She looked at one boy. "What's your name?"

He grinned. "I'm Emmit." Cat sighed with longing. It was true. Emmit was friggin hot.

"Alright then, Emmit, truth or dare?"

"Uh… dare, I guess."

Leah grinned. "I dare to go out in the courtyard wearing nothing but a loincloth and one of Cat's bras."

"Why mine, though?" Cat wanted to know.

Leah sighed. "Because yours are the most padded."

"Are you saying I stuff?!"

"No," one of the boys muttered, "You just have the biggest tits."

Cat stood up, walked across the room, and slapped him.

"Cat fight!" a boy yelled.

Leah slapped him. "Do you want to wake everyone up?"

"Soo… should I go do my dare, or should I just sit here watching you people be slap-happy?"

Rose grinned, and waved Emmit towards Cat's pile of clothes.

- - - - -- - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ten minutes later, they returned to the girls' room, Leah, Rose, Maren, Hope, and Becky were giggling, Cat was sighing dreamily, and Emmit was beet red.

"My turn, I suppose," a very embarrassed Emmit said, "Cat, truth or dare?"

"Ummm… truth, I guess," Cat said, shifting her eyes back and forth.

"Okay, then! Have you ever kissed a guy?"

Cat blushed. "No!"

Emmit leaned in. "Do you want to?"

Leah groaned. "Get a room, people!"

Cat sighed. Glancing at Emmit, she mouthed, "Later!" Turning back to the circle, she said, "Mark, truth or dare?"

"Dare, as long as it doesn't involve one of Cat's bras."

Cat smiled evilly. "I dare you to kiss Rose."

Mark just stared. "Kiss ROSE?! Are you crazy?"

"Probably."

Rose had been staring off into space. She came to herself with a start. "Kiss HIM?!"

Leah grinned. "Oh, come on, you said he was sexy this morning!"

Rose growled, "That was before I knew him!"

"Oh, Rosie!" Mark said, and grabbed her by the neck. Like a sappy love scene in a stupid romance move, he dipped her back into a prolonged kiss.

Leah looked over towards the door. "Oh, crap."

Someone was at the door. Three guesses as to who it was. And the first two don't count.


	3. This Is More Than Hot Water!

Chapter Three: This is more than hot water!

Leah and company stood in front of the desk, wearing innocent little angel faces. All their male guests stood with them, looking completely clueless.

The training master looked them over. "You are despicable, the whole lot of you."

Leah bowed with an insane grin. "Gee, that's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me! Thank you!"

Becky kneed Leah in the back. "Shut up, you idiot! Aren't we in enough trouble?"

"Weelll…" Leah said, with much exaggeration, "Since we're already in so much, it doesn't seem like we can get in any more, does it?"

"Shut up, dumbass," Maren said with a glare.

"All of you will be silent NOW!" HaMinch yelled. Everyone obeyed, for once.

HaMinch stood up and began to pace. "As of now, there will be no visiting other's room within one hour of lights out. There is no leaving your rooms after lights out. You will all spend five bells on Saturday working in the palace laundry. There will be no trips out of the palace for three months. You may go."

Leah flipped her hair off her face. "Thank you, I will." She sauntered out.

Once they were out of the office, Hope regarded Leah. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes."

Hope rolled her eyes. "You are just being defiant for kicks! You're going to get us in more trouble!"

"So? Does it matter?" Leah said, annoyed. Cat came over to watch. "I bet Cat doesn't mind. She can spend more time with Emmit."

"True," Cat said with a shrug.

"Well, we SHOULD be at breakfast now," Rose interjected.

"Good point," Maren put in, and they headed off towards the mess hall.

Leah plopped down on a bench. She turned her attention to Andrew. "Andrew, my dear little friend, I'd like a blueberry muffin, and some orange juice. Go get them, please."

Andrew pouted. "Why should I?"

Leah pulled a silver noble out of her pocket. "'Cause I'll tip ya." She slipped the coin into Andrew's palm, and pushed him towards the servers. Thirty seconds later, he returned with a tray, and went back to his own breakfast.

Rose drew Leah aside. "Where'd ya get the money?"

Leah shrugged. "I swiped some coins off Padraig's desk, big deal."

A voice a couple seats down muttered, "Briar would do it better."

Leah turned with a smile. "How did you get here, Gretchen?"

Gretchen rolled her eyes. "I'm in your third period class, remember?"

Breakfast was over. Dragging alone their modern notebooks and gel pens, the girls head to their first class. "Reading and writing is first, right?" Rose asked, "Goddess, this is going to be boring."

"Tell me about it," Leah said with a groan. "I've been able to read since I was four, and write since I was five."

"Holy CENSORED! Where did you come from, anyway?" Mark said, shocked.

"You wouldn't get it," Becky, always sensible, sensibly pointed out in a sensible manner. She was looking very pink that day, with pink sweatpants, a pink hair bow, and a pink monkey shirt. Others (namely Leah and Rose) looked upon this style with great distaste.

Entering the classroom, Hope, Becky, and Maren chose seats in the back. Cat went to the front so she could sit with Emmit. Leah, Rose, and Gretchen clumped in the middle.

The teacher walked in, a boring looking priest. Leah giggled spontaneously, seeing his bald (and rather fat) head. The priest glanced around; looking for the source of the noise, but Leah's face was completely blank.

"Nice Yamani face, Leah," Gretchen whispered, "You could almost pass for a Kel!"

"Why would I want to look like Blandina the Bland?" Leah replied in the same tone.

Gretchen scowled, offended. "You've no right to say that! Kel is my role model!"

"And I, for one, am very glad you didn't turn out like her."

"Oh, shut up."

The priest was on them like an orange cat bearing down on two red-and-gold clad mice. "Perhaps you'd like to share your conversation with the whole class."

Leah grinned, and pulled out the wand she had swiped when she and Rose had a destruction tour at Hogwarts. "Imperio!" she said with a giggle. The teacher stood on his desk, and began to do a very familiar dance.

Not only was he dancing, but he was singing, too! "I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so kiss my butt!" he yelled as he waved his rear end around in the air.

Cat grimaced. "Really, I don't think I want to, thanks all the same."

Leah broke the spell, and stuffed the wand back into her bag. Rose gave her a high five under the table.

"Now, what were we working on?" the teacher said, rather confused.

"Oh," Leah said sweetly, "You were going to let us leave early."

"I was?" he said, "Oh, okay. You can all go."

The all walked towards the door. "Smooth!" Gretchen said with a grin.

"Have you ever seen a more gullible teacher?" Leah snickered.

"I don't think so," Rose said, laughing. Squeezing into the hallway, they headed towards the next class.

Math class was generally boring. Leah, being good at math, did all the work in thirty seconds and began to draw on her hands. Rose did all the work, and then began contemplating ways to get back at Cat for making her kiss Mark. Gretchen was drawing X tattoos and scars on her hands, being the obsessed Briar fan she is. Cat was completely absorbed in her conversation with Emmit. Maren was sipping contentedly from a carton of orange juice. Becky was twirling her hair ribbon while trying to figure out how the heck to do the work – she wasn't exactly a math genius. Quite the opposite, really. Hope was staring into space; no one had any idea what she was thinking about.

Her arm now completely covered in blue and silver gel pen, Leah looked up. There was no way to tell if the class was almost over, considering she didn't know the exact schedule and there was no clock. She sighed with boredom. To her great relief, the bell rang about a minute later. She lugged her bag onto a shoulder, and got up. Gretchen and Rose followed suit. "Let's get out of here," Leah said, and did just that.

Out in the hall, Leah sagged against the wall. "These are the most boring classes I have ever been to!"

"You can say that again," Rose muttered.

"These are the most boring classes I have ever been to!"

"Oh, shut up."

A/n – As much as I love the community, I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO UPDATE UNTIL I HAVE AT LEAST 8 REVIEWS! I have most of chapter 4 written, but if you want if, REVIEW!


End file.
